LIFE BEFORE AND AFTER ONE YEAR OF TRAVEL: WHAT'S CHANGED?
I distinctly remember turning 25, a quarter-life crisis loomed.
A couple of years before whilst studying French in the South of France, I had decided that I would move to Paris one day. At a stumbling block, I couldn't bring myself to stay in London and face another day like the previous 4 years.
So I quit my life in London and went to Paris on a whim. After all, Paris is always a good idea. Right?!
I told myself I’d give myself 3 months to ‘work it out’. My first month you could say was about having 'fun', exploring and getting to know the city. My excuse was that it was August. There's no point looking for a job when everyone's in the South of France on vacay.
As September rolled around, I signed an apartment lease for one year without a job. Panic mode set in. But luckily two weeks later I got a contract at one of France’s biggest banks. And began my life in France.
As dreamy as life in Paris sounds, 5 years later something wasn't right. I felt stuck and stagnant in life. Struggling to progress professionally, I could no longer stay in my job. Those whispers came back.
Leaving France wasn’t an easy decision. After all, I had an amazing life with great friends, an apartment within a 15-minute walk from the Arc de Triomphe. I loved Paris.
But it felt unfulfilled.
How could I have everything I ever wanted or thought I wanted but still be left with that feeling of 'this is not it... You're meant for more'.
I had always wanted to travel. Ever since I was 13 I knew I wanted to explore the world. I kept stalling. Finding a reason not to go. Money, time off, career gap... I had all the excuses.
Maybe it’s partly to do with the 30-life crisis. Is that a thing?! But something inside of me looked at my year ahead, which looked much like the year behind.
I knew it was time for a change. Again.
I spent months thinking about my decision to leave Paris. But the little voice inside grew stronger by the day.
I gave in my notice. Funnily, the hardest thing about making the decision to leave was the decision. Selling my belongings, I somehow knew I wasn’t coming back any time soon.
My chapter in France had come to a close.
One year of travel
I've been writing my stories from my travels on my travel blog for a year now. I still have a few more tales from Colombia to write up. I won't go into all my stories now. Haha... I'm sure google penalizes you at some point for having a uber-long blog post!
But I will say this. It was by far the most amazing year of my life. I truly lived a dream. The days were long, but the year was short. In the blink of an eye, it was all over.
During that year, I learned the power of living by my gut and intuition. That inner voice that directs you, that somehow just 'knows'.
I came more into myself, a stronger, comfortable, confident version of me. It was no longer about trying to fit into a standard box and driving myself crazy about the perceptions of me from the outside world.
There's something about spending a lot of time travelling day by day and true to yourself. You become very quiet internally and begin to hear yourself loud and clear. The daily mind chatter becomes almost secondary.
Coming home
Living your life via your heart for a year, you really can’t wake up and tell your heart to now take a back seat. Brain, you make all the decisions now.🤷♀️
I tried to do the smart thing and get back into working in finance. But my heart is no longer in it. I've pushed myself into a new direction, not knowing where I'm heading. But for the first time in my life, 'not knowing' is ok.
The internal change
Coming home I knew I had changed. Internally I had shifted.
Funnily I hadn't changed in the way other people hoped that I would. My brother remarked one day, "I don't think traveling has done you any good. It's made you more introverted."
I'm not sure what he was hoping for. I'm an INFJ and I certainly wasn't expecting to be an ENFJ by the end of a year. I've always been a sociable person, I love meeting new people, learning new languages and exploring. Traveling definitely brings it out of me even more. If anything, I've become more comfortable with who I am and I'm no longer fighting it. At the same time, I don't benchmark myself against the perceptions that others have of me.
Maybe it seems like I'm not trying? I went to a networking event and I was perfectly happy standing in the room, people watching. Before, being alone would have freaked me out. I would have frantically looked for the first person to latch onto. The funny thing is, standing there, content with where I am, I ended up attracting people to me.
People don't care as much as you think they do
Whilst I had been gone for a year, coming home, close family and friends didn't seem to care as much as I thought. Life goes on. You buy a house. Get married. Have children. Your adventure through Patagonia and the deserts of Peru really aren't the focal point of any conversation.
The first time I really got to talk about my travels, was when I met up with Leyla who I had met in Patagonia and is now living in London. She was soooo excited to hear about everything. We spent hours talking!
The connections that I made as I traveled whilst dotted around the globe, are really important to me. The people I hiked the mountains of Patagonia with, my tent buddy on The Salkantay Trek, the family I cooked dinner with every night in Argentina, the brief friends I met to accompany me on night buses, the list goes on... We shared moments and experiences that I'll hold dear for a long time to come.
Settling in back at home
I've been lucky to be able to come back home and live in London with my family and not worry about finding a place to stay straight away.
I haven't lived in London for 6 years. So in many ways, it's like coming to a home to a familiar city that has changed a lot over the years. Or maybe it's me that's changed, and now I'm seeing it through new eyes.
Don't get me wrong, when I came home, I made the decision to stop traveling as I had accomplished what I had set out and could feel myself getting fatigued from travel. Yet I still do get the itch from time to time.
Regretting the decision to travel for one year
Not once. I still wonder if I really lived the experience. The year went by so quickly!
In the words of Marie Forleo: If you're unsure, do the 10-year test. If you’re 25 now, will you regret not having done it by the time you’re 35?
Absolutely. And I'm so glad that I did take the chance. You never know what life will throw at you.
Life at home
To be honest, I've been a bit lazy. I haven't been experiencing new things as frequently as I would like to experience. I'm also working towards a new goal of changing career direction. Whereas previously this kind of 'not knowing' would have sparked anxiety about the future, I've been strangely calm about it all.
I'm sure I'll travel again. At the moment I'm content with exploring my own city. Putting my camera down and just being in the moment.
Spending time writing up my travel experiences and getting the chance to go through my 18,000 + photos... I've always imagined that one day when I buy a house, I'll print out my favorite landscape photos and decorate.
Post-travel depression
Nope. Not this time. Strange... Huh?
I remember being back at work after spending six weeks in Malawi and Zambia and I needed another six weeks to adjust to life.
This time around. It's different. I haven't closed the travel chapter. But I've opened a new chapter where I've given myself permission to explore new opportunities and make the necessary changes in my life.
At times I wonder what a road trip through Namibia would look like. But I know I'm heading into a new phase in life. I'm looking forward to the future, living my truest and most authentic life.
